Simon Sez

stream of consciousness:

- starting residency in 2 weeks

- will officially be called "dr. simon" 

- will be on-call for 24 hours where the lives of real human beings will, literally, be in the palm of my hand

- people will die. children. sons and daughters of people i’ve never met.

reflection:

i never know how to deal with apprehension, anxiety, or the fear that comes with the unknown. i’m about to turn the page into this new chapter of my life, and a couple of thoughts come into my mind at random times. i’ve always wanted to be a doctor and to make a difference in peoples lives; but now is the time do be it. to do it. all those years of schooling, all those hours spent studying, they’re all coming to a head and i’m at the precipice. they always tell you never to look down when you’re afraid of heights, and here i am trying not to. 

this is gonna sound pretty crazy, but just hear me out. as much as i love jose reyes, i think it may be time to trade him. 

jose reyes has been a huge part of the mets for a long time. he came up as a kid and basically helped to re-energize the franchise, i know, i know. also, the chants of "jose! jose! jose! jose!" and his "professor reyes" bits have made the stadium a lot of fun to be in. but does that mean he’s helping the ballclub win? i’m not so sure.

i can’t tell you how many times i’ve seen jose come up with men on base, and the mets are down by a couple of runs. i get excited to see one of the supposed cornerstones of the franchise come up in a big spot, only to be disappointed as he pops up or strikes out. these are not even productive outs, they are just outs. how about all the times i’ve seen jose running the bases, something that has led to more bad than good? 

and i know everyone cites the statistics when reyes is hitting well vs. hitting poorly. "the mets are 23-10 when reyes scores a run, 10-52 when he doesn’t." we’ve all heard that a million times. but has anyone really looked closer at this stat? question: what if this is a classic case of chicken or the egg? what is it really? is it that the mets DON’T WIN when jose scores a run? or the fact that jose has made some baserunning gaff, or squelched yet another rally to prevent the tying wins to score? hmm..

listen, i love the kid, but this team has been playing the same song and dance for the past 2 years and 1 game, that 1 game being the 2006 NLCS Game 7. we need to shake things up. 

2. i can use the phrase, "it could be worse… you could be a med student!"

absolutely awesome!

this is just the coolest thing i’ve seen in a long time. hopefully this is a sign of more changes to come.

best line from the article:  “When you come back in 20 years, it will look indistinguishable from the way it looked before the white man.”
ohhh, that darned white man! we always have to clean up after his mess.

on a more somber note, i’m having serious questions about what medicine is and why i got into it. so i’m going to start posting a list of positives about medicine and why i should keep doing it, starting with:

1. all the free medical supplies i can get my hands on.

hey, you’ve got to start somewhere.  

1. eating anything handheld is done AT YOUR OWN RISK.
case in point: after a particularly busy day at l’hopital, i was trying to decide what to grab at the cafeteria.
inner dialogue moment: "hmm.. a lotta ppl with c. diff diarrhea, salmonella, and e. coli bacteremia in the hosp lately.. i know! a burger with lotsa oozing mayonnaise would hit the spot!"

2. nurses are the biggest gossips i have ever seen.
imagine a convention of housewives, book club members, post-christmas party office workers, and high school girls all in one room with no outside communication.

3. internal medicine is a specialty of quirky individuals.
you know, or you may not know, the stereotypes for all of the specialties, like the bitchy ob/gyn, the lazy anesthesiologist, the adhd er doctor, etc., but i feel like internal medicine doesn’t really have a good stereotype. well, i think i’ve discovered that stereotype: the quirky, weird doctor. all the internal medicine residents i’ve met so far have these idiosyncrasies that really sets them apart from the next guy. like the attending who quotes random movie lines. like the intern who wakes up at 4 am every day. like the attending that insists on giving fist pounds to everyone under the age of 20.

insurance 

medicine saddens me 

so i just called home to see how the family unit is doing, and the first thing i get asked is a health question.

i go "hey, what’s goin’ on?" and my little brother says "oh yeah, so i have this blister on my lip, what do you think it is?" so i run through the whole history with him and decide that it’s probably impetigo (but not before telling him he has herpes first, haha). but anyway, after all of that, i ask him what else is going on. he starts saying "yeah, i have this rash too." i had to remind him that i’m calling as his brother, not his doctor. my goodness, is that what i’ve become to my family?

beware! a highly infectious and easily transmissible disease known as timberlakitis is sweeping through the u.s. and infecting unsuspecting men everywhere! it is caused by the bacterium J. timberlakiae, which was recently discovered in the summer of 2007. 

symptoms: causing one to wear a suit vest, button down collar shirt, and skinny tie all the time; causing one to shave their head and grow some stubble on their face in an obvious attempt to look like justin timberlake. 

cure: as yet, there is no cure for timberlakitis, but a vaccine is in the making. the bill and melinda gates foundation has pledged to wipe this disease out by 2010. please do your part by reporting carriers of this disease to all your friends and voice the obvious j.t. imitation in an effort to prevent it from spreading. 

this has been a public service anouncement. we now continue with your regularly scheduled programming.

it’s a debate that has recently been gaining a lot of momentum (although i would call it more of a public flogging at this point): which is better, mac or pc? i think the marketers at apple have depicted it cleverly in their ad campaign "i’m a mac," and their satirical depiction of a nerdy office ’square’ as pc, and a trendy, yet i-just-don’t-know-how-he’s-famous invoking, justin long as a mac is right on point, just like their respective themes. i think it’s pretty clear that mac is winning this pr battle, as evidenced by their catchy ads, the domination of the ipod, and innovative but user-friendly new features. it seems like the only press pc is getting lately has been negative, whether from anti-trust lawsuits or from their own executives not knowing how to use vista.

i don’t wanna hate too much on them though, bill and melinda gates are incredible humanitarians and they’ve given more of themselves up for noble causes than i could ever delude myself into saying i would if i were in their advantageous position. let’s be real, i’d be waking up every day at 1 p.m. partying and dedicating my money to each of the seven deadly sins.